Big Enough

I’m taking a quick break from the “Lessons from Warren” series with this brief post.  I must admit I’ve been in a bit of a spiritual rut recently… feeling dry and spent… too little time, too few hands, and not enough manna from above.  I know we all feel this way at times –and everyone says it is normal – but it still isn’t fun or where I want to hang out for long.  (For some encouraging insights on this topic, check out the recent posts on my friend Elizabeth’s blog.)  

So here is the honest truth: the last 5 and a half years have taken a toll on my faith.  Yes, at times it feels it has deepened, matured, and grown.  Certainly, it has been stretched and challenged in ways I never anticipated.  But oftentimes, I simply feel I’ve been left with a depleted faith that is left wanting.

I found myself discouraged two nights ago, so desperately wishing my faith exceeded my circumstances.  To be able to prove to the Lord that my faith is bigger than what I have faced or continue to face in my life, both the big and also the seemingly small trials.  Additionally, and perhaps selfishly, I just wanted to feel Him—to have that warm and fuzzy, Abba Father, mountaintop experience.

In that low moment, almost as a whisper, the Lord impressed upon my heart that it wasn’t the size of my faith that mattered but in Whom my faith rested.  It can be as tiny and trivial as a mustard seed.

We really cannot prove anything to Jesus, for without Him we would be nothing. He has proven it to us.  As we are reminded this Holy Weekend, Jesus paid the price.  Because of Him, the size of our faith is inconsequential. Yet, it is the object of our faith, Jesus Himself, that makes the difference.  He doesn’t change.  He remains big enough… larger than our circumstances and large enough to carry us when our feeble faith falters.

“Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, 

you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. 

Nothing will be impossible for you.”

-Matthew 17:20-21

 

John caught his first fish on our Spring Break trip last week!  

Daniel also enjoyed the lake!

 Our boys!  Gotta love a camo/monogram combo!