“It
is OK to have hope and to be in deep pain. In fact, hope is the only
thing that will overcome the hurt.” –
Hope Heals
Hope is something with
which many of us wrestle. On the
surface, hope sounds like a pure, simple, and wonderful thing. Positive in every way, a perfect word for
decorative plaques and kind sentiments.
However, those of you who have held onto hope for that particular,
precious something for a very long time know that hope is complicated. Hope can be flat-out exhausting. Hope can test you. And maintaining hope for the long haul can be
outright discouraging. Days have a way
of turning into years and hope can transform from bright and light to dim and
heavy. Another burden for the weary to carry.
This post is prompted by a
dream I recently had, a dream in which John was working with the director of
his new school while I was in the room.
He was put in the quad position (on hands and knees) and miraculously began to take off crawling around the room!
I was filled with joy, unbelief and happy tears. Even in my dream, I wanted to make certain
this was NOT a dream and even pinched both of my arms to make sure. I was convinced; it was real!! A dream full of hope, right? A vision perhaps? Yes, I think so; however, I woke up quite
depressed when I realized this dream was not yet a reality. And the fear and worry set in… what if this
never becomes a reality? Dreams such as
these that once gave life and cherished hope can now pour salt in the wound…
highlighting the years of unwavering but draining hope.
Fortunately, I find hope
is yet another thing that is redeemed in the Lord’s economy even when the world
and our experiences want to corrupt it. Hope
is something worth fighting for, but with the Lord’s perspective, it does not
actually require a fight or maintenance of your stance on the front lines of
combat. Who can keep that up day after
day, week after week? Every soldier
needs a break from the front lines… The ability to move beyond the hope
prompted by crisis and into the hope prompted by peace in our ultimate outcome.
How do we disallow hope, then, from becoming a burden warring
against our very souls? I think we pray
and ask God for help. And then we choose
His peaceful hope over a warring hope that originates in fear and worry. Confident rest versus flailing desperation.
For a long time, my hope
has been a warring one. I imagine this
will continue to crop up as worry seizes me and drives me to frenetic research,
additional opportunities for John, new magic bullets to try. These things in and of themselves are not
negative, but my approach certainly can be.
A warring hope makes living so very difficult as you go about each day
worried sick. But a peaceful hope points
to our ultimate hope in Jesus and allows ourselves to be carried as we witness
the Lord at work.
So how is this fleshed out
in practical terms? For me, it means giving
John the very best yet holding daily change loosely so that burden and worry do
not weigh me down and rob my joy. In
discussing all of this with my counselor yesterday, she called this a “quiet
hope.” I love that image. To carry my hope with a quiet, secure heart
and to simply serve as a witness to God’s healing work in John’s life…
celebrating each moment and change that comes his way while receiving the gift
of loving him exactly where he is.
Yes, we will hold onto our
hope for John’s continued and full healing.
But I am praying (and ask you to pray as well) that we will release the
striving, warring, anxious energy that merely masquerades as hope and, instead,
choose the hope that brings life and peace.
“It is good that one
should have hope in and wait quietly for the salvation (the safety and ease) of
the Lord.”
-Lamentations 3:26, AMP
“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul,
firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where our
forerunner, Jesus, has entered on our behalf.”
-Hebrews 6:19-20, NIV
Happy Reformation Day!
No comments:
Post a Comment