Tying into last week’s posts, I have additional “war stories” to
share today as I reflect upon John’s home program. Despite breaks here and there, when I think
about John’s program the first thing that stands out is the patterning… ALL the patterning! This is one of the Institutes’ distinctive
techniques, and it involves at least three adults moving John’s head, arms, and
legs in a certain sequence with a certain rhythm to give tactile input to
John’s brain teaching him over and over again what it feels like to crawl. At times, we patterned John 12 times spread
throughout the day with each session lasting 3-5 minutes.
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Patterning March 2010 |
After our first trip to the Institutes in which we were given
John’s initial home program, we realized we would be coming home and asking for
a great deal of help. Something you
should know about me: I am a first-born, Type A, “recovering”
perfectionist. I like to be
self-sufficient. I do not enjoy asking
for help or feeling I am inconveniencing anyone. Of course, much of this changed when I was on
bed rest with the twins from 15 weeks on and had to depend on others for pretty
much everything. Definitely preparation for what was to come!
Just when we thought the extreme need for help had come to an
end after months of meals from our friends and church during and following our
time in the ICU after the twins were born (not to mention cleaning, ironing,
grocery shopping, etc), we were returning home from the Institutes in December
2009 when John was almost a year old yet again needing to ask for help. I dreaded this task. I felt we had already been given far more
than we deserved. I wondered how we would
ever find enough people to give up their most precious resource, their
time. And I certainly didn’t want anyone
to feel obligated to help because they felt sorry for us.
Silly me. As usual, the
Lord showed up. He once again put on
flesh and provided an abundance of “patterners” through the most amazing
friends, neighbors, therapists, and complete strangers. These people possessed the common threads of
compassion, selfless service, belief in John, and a willingness to be on this
bizarre journey with us. I cry thinking
about each person the Lord provided over the past 3.5 years. I cry realizing how the Lord became incarnate
to me personally in each session, as people streamed in and out of our home,
with each sacrificial hour given to our family.
We asked for help out of our weakness, due to John’s
limitations… And God gave us a community. Where we had felt alone and isolated, God
brought a patterning family into our home.
When we feared John would not be accepted or known, God provided friends
who have loved him more than I thought possible from individuals who are not
his parents.
I have thanked this team, but what always surprises me….yes,
even 3.5 years later…. is how they claim to have received more by working with
John than they have given. I do not
believe them, but I am grateful!!
We all have weaknesses and limitations, even if they aren’t as apparent
as John’s. The blessing comes for those
of us who have the eyes to see how God uses our weaknesses and needs to bring
us together. Strengths so often
divide… but challenges can bond. And in
bonding, we end up stronger. The program was a gift not only in the provision it
brought in its season but also in the community it built around us.
In a world that champions optimizing our strengths, I think
Christ wants us to take our weaknesses to Him and allow Him to optimize them.
Redeem them. Turn them into greater strength than we could know on our own.
“But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is
made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my
weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why,
for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in
persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
-2
Corinthians 12:9-10
This
post is dedicated to all of our patterners from Virginia Beach and Atlanta. We love you and are eternally grateful. Thank you for believing in John and loving us
so well.