Milling and Paving Ahead

            Recently, the main roads right outside of our neighborhood have undergone milling and paving.  Signs have been meticulously placed every five feet it seems to notify us of this work zone. 

            As we drive across the bumpy, gritty roads that jostle our minivan, and as we attempt to dodge the aforementioned signs, Meade and I wonder silently, then out loud, “Why in the world can’t they just pour fresh asphalt onto the road?”  This would save time and it certainly would make for a much more pleasant and efficient ride. 

            I like the smooth ride. Indeed, I crave it. And when bumps come along and cracks appear in the surface, later culminating in deep crevices and craters, I would much prefer it if the powers to be would simply pour out a fresh layer of asphalt, paint the new yellow and white stripes, and get on with it!

John in January 2009; still in the isolette.

            Isn’t this all too reminiscent of how we can be with the Lord and how we readily interfere with the work zone of our lives?  I admit that I am quite often short-sited when it comes to God’s timeline.  I am ready for the “fresh layer of asphalt” in an attempt to save time and bind my own wounds in the healing and growing process.  All the while, God in His infinite wisdom knows exactly what it will take and precisely how long it will take to produce sustainable change in our lives.  Moreover, He wants to teach us a thing or two as we traverse the bumpy road. 

John, January 2009

            I feel that this analogy has defined my life for the past three years as I have brought my twins into the world, suffered alongside them for the months in the hospital, held my son Warren as he took his last breath, and purposed to do everything in my power to help John recover from whatever it is that ails his brain and limits him. I want it smooth. I long for the quick fix. In fact, I often feel entitled to that if I am honest. 

 Above: Warren (we prayed to see these open eyes!)
Left and Below: John in February 2009

Here John is having one of many EEGs.

           Fortunately, God’s grace and mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:23) as He endeavors to engage my life on the deeper level.  He is not satisfied to leave the bumps and craters and merely cover them over.  He invites me into His hard work of milling, because He directs and perceives the full picture.  We see in a glass dimly (1 Corinthians 13) but He sees clearly.

            Whether it’s a one-day, one week, one year, or twenty year journey, I pray we can trust God with our lives and the big picture He has in mind as He is busy at work milling and paving. I wish this were always the case, but today at least I pray to be a willing participant in what God wants to do in the work zone of my life.  We’re praying for you too.